The Adventures of Chuck and Bill

There once was a turtle named Chuck,

Who befriended a one-legged duck.

The duck was named Bill

And stood perfectly still

For his one foot was stuck in the muck.

Sadly, poor Bill couldn’t eat

He couldn’t catch bugs with no feet

He longingly stared

At ducks who all fared

Much better at chasing down treats

Chuck felt quite sorry for Bill,

Whose diet was making him ill.

So Chuck brought him food,

To lift the duck’s mood,

And the waterfowl soon ate his fill.

This arrangement was far from ideal,

With Chuck bringing Bill’s every meal.

Said turtle to duck,

“Let’s get you un-stuck!”

And the duck replied, “sounds like a deal!”

So Bill grabbed the terrapin’s shell;

Chuck pulled and he tugged with a yell

The foot was in deep

But it started to creep

Up and out of the stiff, muddy gel.

The mud released Bill with a squelch;

The sound of a bird-launching belch.

Away sailed the duck

—Still clinging to Chuck—

From the swamp in Flor’da to the Welsh.

On the shore of the great British Isles,

Turtle and duck were all smiles.

With Bill’s foot now free

The friends danced with glee

But this wasn’t the end of their trials.

Some people in Britain were mad,

That, without Queen’s consent, these two had

Arrived in the nation

Sans documentation

A crime seen by some as quite bad.

So the monarchy had to decide

Make a point or just take it in stride?

Did Bill and did Chuck

Arrive by sheer luck?

Or were they sent to be spies from inside?

The friends had their day in the court

And dear reader I’m sad to report

In a stroke of bad luck,

No one there could speak duck

And the judge stamped their papers DEPORT!